Every time my extended family gets together in upstate ny, we (the Adults) all get wasted & at least 1 giant Family Scandal comes out…..tonight is that night..
We’ve Got A Winner Folks, And It Involves Arson AND A Nun!
So apparently my aunt cecelia (not really my aunt, just the best friend of my dads cousin, whomst we also call aunt) once married a dude referred to only as Florida Asshole. He was named such because he apparently left my aunt cecelia while she was in the hospital, stole all of their stuff, and fucked off to florida. Aunt cecelia then hired a p.i. to find him, as u do, and went down to florida with my dads cousin (who was going to florida for a work trip, and had no idea Florida Asshole was there). Apparently the p.i. told aunt cecelia which city the guy was in, but hadnt found the exact address yet, so ofc aunt cecelia did what any other able bodied half insane scorned person might. She went to a costume shop, bought a full nun costume, and went door to door under the assumption that she was collecting charity. (She did, in fact, donate everything she collected. This was an important fact to her). At one of the houses, she looked in the window and noticed an awful lot of furniture that used to be hers. So she, obviously, went to a gas station and bought several cans of gasoline, threw a molotov cocktail through the front window, and began pouring gasoline over the rest of the house. At this point, Florida Asshole came outside, recognized his ex wife looking like a renegade nun sent to punish him for his sins, and began beating her. The neighbors, seeing the strange new man beating a nun in his front yard while his house was on fire, did the only sensible thing in this story and called the police. Who promptly arrested Florida Asshole for assaulting a nun. Aunt cecelia did not get arrested, came clean to her best friend, and was immediately sent back to new york with a ticket bought under my other aunt’s name. We don’t know if she still has an arrest warrant out for her in florida, and that’s tonight’s Family Scandal!
Dude there are 6 Garfield strips that explain Garfield is actually an abandoned cat dying alone of starvation in an apartment and all the food and friends are in their head.
UR JOKING
What the fuck
Incorrect. Jim Davis has gone on record saying that the Halloween strips were a nightmare. This is also supported by OUR Garfield being canonically Garfield’s overall 8th Life.
As told in “Garfield: His 9 Lives”, Garfiled was born behind an Italian Resturant, was caught eating the Lasagna, was placed in the same pet shop as Odie (Who was established as being Garfield’s eternal rival through all his lives), and was adopted by Jon. Garfield will live long enough to see his GrandKittens.
Also, as for Garfield’s amazing powers that you constantly see here and elsewhere?
That’s what God looks like at the beginning of “Garfield: His 9 Lives”.
Garfield is, canonically, an Avatar of God.
Garfield is an eldritch being, pass it on!
no really what the fuck
I always love seeing people react to how insane the Garfield canon is.
But what if half your ocs are softys and not made for fighting?
dating sim
this post changed the game
Hey btw if you don’t know how to program, you should check out [novelty], which is a free Visual Novel creation software. Absolutely no programming required, and it’s super easy to use, I played with it some when I was a teen but the only reason I didn’t do much with it is cuz I made my story complicated and had like 5000 different branching routes that kept spawning new routes and made myself confused LMAO
But yeah, it’s a WYSIWYG with a really straight-forward GUI, if I remember correctly.
It even comes with some free backgrounds and characters and stuff, and this is what it looks like:
Did I mention it’s super duper free? It hasn’t been updated since 2010, but it has basically all you’d need to make a simple visual novel.
Just make sure your DirectX runtime is updated, cuz it can act buggy if it’s outdated, but this program is so old that I doubt it’d even be an issue lol
And they’re like 2 dollars guys this is the best pen ive ever owned in my life
AND ITS WATER PROOF I PUT SOME WATER ON SOEM LINES AND IT DIDNT BLEED GUYS THESE PENS
I have used these pens! They are, indeed, awesome. Very good for drawing outlines and then using watercolors over. One of these, a water brush, and a tiny set of watercolor pans and you have an awesomely portable art kit. Like so (though that one has a different black brush pen).
gayfeline 