Unrecognized signs of abuse

traumaeyed:

This list includes signs I exhibited while being abused and afterwards, as well as signs I’ve seen other abused youth display, all of which are less commonly recognized for what they are: red flags in disguise. 

  • Being described as a “perfectionist” or having an extremely competitive attitude to the point of experiencing breakdowns if you are not “the best”
  • Developing a habit of locking the door to every room you enter, especially when at friends’ houses or your own home, or other places you would be expected to feel safe and welcome at
  • Excessive daydreaming or fantasizing which may be accompanied by restlessness, pacing, or listening to music, and will often last for hours at a time, and may interfere with daily functioning
  • Experiencing an inability to relate to your peers which may lead to you creating pseudo relationships or obsessions with fictional characters to replace your lack of social interaction
  • Refusing to look at yourself in mirrors in public, especially when buying new clothes or going into fitting rooms
  • Showering in the dark because you are ashamed of your body
  • Experiencing intense feelings of guilt when someone does something nice for you
  • Hyperfixation on a hobby such as drawing or writing, which is often used as an outlet and a way to escape the abuse
  • Purposely making yourself appear unattractive 
  • Being known as the shy or obedient child who never acts out
  • Possessing an unnatural amount of maturity for your age which many adults may have praised you for
  • Not knowing how to live, having an “I can survive with the bare minimums” mentality
  • Hoarding food or other objects in your room such as toiletries so you do not have to leave your room. This may be as severe as going to the bathroom in bottles or cans, or having months worth of dishes piled up around your room 
  • Having an anxiety attack if you’re woken up abruptly or if you wake up to loud noises in your house
  • Never experiencing sexual interest in others, never going through a “boy phase” or a “girl phase”; alternatively, being hypersexual 
  • Intrusive violent thoughts about small animals or children
  • Having no sense of belonging since you were a toddler, never feeling connected to your childhood town or house, and feeling alienated among your family members

Feel free to add more to this list. If you or someone else has experienced at least half of these signs, it’s very likely you or them has been through some form of abuse.